After an average day in the office, I arrived at the train station two minutes late for my train. This meant that I had to battle with my phone, which then died, to try and figure out how to get home. I don’t live that far from the city, but if I miss a direct train, it’s a long wait for another so, I have to get several connections.
With a dead phone in hand, I could feel an anger rising up inside me. An anger I don’t feel very often anymore but, at this time last year, I felt everyday. It’s an anger that happens when nothing is going right. When there is frustration and confusion. When no one is helping you.
I got home to find that the guy I was buying a washing machine off, and picking up that night, had accidentally double booked himself so I couldn’t get the washing machine. The anger raged.
Then, I got a message from him. The man I met on Friday night. The man who is too soon out of a relationship for anything to really happen between us. He had offered to help me with the washing machine so I told him there was no need. He wanted to see me anyway. So I drove to his place. I was in a foul mood and I told him that. But he still wanted to see me. I was actually a little concerned about how he would react to my mood. I know that I can be an absolute bitch when it comes to it. It was a sticking point in my last relationship. My ex couldn’t deal with me when I’d had a bad day. His answer was to get takeout (I hate takeout and prefer home cooked meals), lounge on the couch and not be concerned about the cleaning, washing or anything else that needed doing. And, as I sat there, I would think about all those jobs that we should be doing and the rage inside me would continue to burn.
When my man got into the car yesterday, I was so angry. But within five minutes, and with one very brief touch, the anger had passed. I was smiling. I was laughing. My day had turned around. We went back to mine, we delivered a dining table to a lady with an autistic child who was unable to pick up (I am selling things that don’t fit/go with my new place), he cooked me a lovely dinner and we cuddled on the couch. My feelings went from content, to happy, to scared and to sad (the negatives were purely based on the constant thought in the back of my mind that I cannot have this man…not yet). They flitted. But they never once went back to anger.
I find it hard to believe I have only known this man for six days. He is already a huge part of my life. His touch, to me, is electric, and I really hope, that he stays in my life for a very long time.
Today’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘electric’.