Boomba

There’s a  new name being used in our house, “Boomba”.  I had a feeling that Jess was putting on a bit of weight.  If I’m honest her weight has fluctuated since we got her at eleven years old but today, I realised it had managed to creep up again.

When we rescued Jess, she was a very skinny 17kg border collie.  Now 17kg, isn’t that bad for her breed and she wasn’t starving or anything (though she was not at all motivated by food and would often refuse to eat) but you could easily have mistaken her for a border collie whippet cross (which I’m sure would be given a very amusing name like whipollie or bordepet (almost a little French sounding)). 

So, like any loving parents, we encouraged her to eat.  And, then at our first ever Battersea Reunion party (Battersea dogs home hold an annual reunion for all of their rescued pets in Battersea Park every year) there was a professional photographer, and as proud parents, we took Jess along to the stand.  I remember being so proud on the day, and then when we were emailed the proofs to see if we wanted to purchase, I realised our dog was overwreigh!!  How could that be?  Only months before (this was probably over a six month period) she was the skinniest little thing.  But now, she was definitely in need of a diet and exercise (not that she didn’t get walked several times a day) .

Since then her weight has always been good.  I’d say she’s always been on the heavier side of the ‘ideal range’ for her breed but she’s still in the ideal section.

Even today, as the scales went up and it became apparent her food portions and treats needed to come down, she is not classed as overweight.  Jess gets plenty of exercise, the walk back and forth to the vets was over 3.5kms

Let’s just say, it wouldn’t hurt her to miss a meal and with her arthritis getting worse, the weight needs to come back down.  So dinner was slightly smaller tonight, and my little fattie boomba, gave me a look of sheer horror when I refused her any treats from the cupboard.  This puppy is joining the unofficial Biggest Loser House!

Don’t worry pup, you’ll still get your goodbye treat when I leave for work in the morning (but your breakfast may have been a little smaller than normal).

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It’s been a long time and so much has happened

What started out as a promise to blog everyday for 2013, hasn’t exactly turned out the way it should have. I find myself in April, with my last blog entry being back in January! How has this happened? How has time gotten away from me so quickly? And how, has it been so easy for me to break my own promise to myself?

The truth is simple. Lots has happened on the love, work, life, health front and blogging just fell to the wayside. I can’t guarantee that won’t happen again, but I can guarantee I feel bad that I haven’t been on here and I will try harder.

In a nutshell what’s been going on to keep me so busy? Well here it is (in the brief format, and I hope, over the next month or so, to go into it into more detail):

  1. The Lieutenant – it has been on and off, and then on and off.  We are now, since yesterday on an off, an off with no contact allowed.  As I talked about before, the Lieutenant wasn’t long out of a relationship when we met.  The aftershock (as I like to think of it) of that relationship is continuing even now.  Emails from the ex, reminders of the boy she cheated on him with, little things that you can’t run away from, keep happening.  And then, with me, he realised he was falling in love again.  And he consciously stopped himself because he didn’t want to get hurt.  As soon as he did it, he knew he had to let me go, until his heart was ready to love again.  It hurt.  But I believe he has done the right thing and I am prepared to let him go, in the hope that one day he will come back and he will be ready to love.  We tried being friends, but whenever we met, there was a clear sexual tension in the room.  The night would end with kissing and then tears.  It is best to stay apart until his heart has healed.
  2. Health – you may recall I had a scare at the end of 2012.  It was the thing that topped off the so called ‘worst year of my life’.  I had an abnormal pap smear test.  Then in January I went to the colposcopy clinic and was told that it didn’t look like anything.  The results came back, and it is something.  I am booked in for a large loop excision of the transformation zone (LLETZ) next month.  It’s a scary prospect and the more goggling I do the more scary it gets.  We all know that if you look anything up on the internet, it always point to death.  I am staying positive, and will blog about this to give my perspective for anyone going through the same thing.
  3. Work – I slog my guts out for very little reward.  This coming week will see what reward I get.
  4. Life – my life is getting more and more simple and that is the way I like it.  My puppy and I have spent this Easter chilling out and enjoying each other’s company.  Which is exactly what we were doing today, when this picture was taken:
Too tired to play

Too tired to play

After a long walk around Sydney Park, Jess was tired.  Too tired to play.  And today’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘play’.  A great pic and a great memory to kick start this blog again!

 

 

A note from Jess, the most beautiful border collie in the world

Mumma’s a bit busy so I thought I would share details of our first night together. I normally live at my Dad’s but something happened (Mumma says she’ll tell you about that later) and last night I stayed at Mum’s new house. Anyway, I thought I would write a note to my Dad telling him all about my adventures:

Dear Dad,

So last night was my first night at Mum’s new place. She keeps saying that this is ‘our’ new home and I don’t really get it because I live with you, right? Anyway, it was really good initially, she took me there and then went away. While she was gone, I found the hiding place for the toys. They aren’t even in a box – awesome! So I played with gingerbread man for a little bit and then I realised the back door was open. Woot!!

There is grass, Dad! Grass that I can roll in and have heaps of fun with. So, when Mum came back half an hour later, I was hanging out in the back garden. But then, Dad, I realised I had gone outside but I didn’t want to step on the mats to come back in. They are scarier than tiled floors. So I just stood for ages with my head poking through the door whilst Mum did my dinner. Eventually she grabbed my collar and pulled me through the door (meanie) and tried to make me eat.

I'm not coming in Mumma!

I’m not coming in Mumma!

But, Dad, she got me stainless steel bowls! You know I don’t like them. Why would she do that? The one I drink water out of is a one off. I don’t want to eat from them. AND, the food is up high right at my head level, so I don’t have to bend down to eat, how weird is that? I know I like to stand below the step at your house to eat but the food is on the floor not up high. I don’t understand. I think Mum has strange ideas sometimes. So anyway, I made her hand feed me .

Then we played in the living room for a bit and then I fell asleep at Mum’s feet. She tried to lift me onto the sofa but I don’t like to be carried so I ran away.

When it was bedtime, Mum put my new bed (I know it’s my bed and I kinda like it) in the hall right outside her room. What was the point in that? Her bed is really big and heaps comfy so I jumped up there. She kept telling me to go wee and pointing to the backdoor but that would mean walking across the scary mats again so I refused. She dragged me out Dad!! DRAGGED ME!!

This is my bed, right?

This is my bed, right?

Anyway, I came back in and we went to bed. Apparently we were meant to sleep but I kept watch and wandered around on the bed every five minutes to make sure no one disturbed Mum. Every now and again I would also tap her with my paw or stick my nose in her face just to make sure it was her and that she was ok. She seemed to get mad, and at 3:30am, she tried to make me sleep in my own bed (which she dragged into the bedroom). No way, Dad! I needed to keep watch and see what the house looked like in the dark. So I wandered around all night. I got tired at around 5am and climbed up onto Mum’s bed again and fell asleep next to her.

In no time at all, the alarm went off. Mum swore! And then we went to a new park and met new friends and a man gave me a treat and, there was a Pomeranian who had been shaved like me. Only his head and tail still had long hair! He looked like a lion though rather than silly, like me. And, Dad? I think he licked my bum?!

Anyway, we went back to Mum’s house and she opened the back door (and I think she expected to me go out there or something?) and she went to the bathroom. I just stood (on the tiles) and watched her shower and get ready. Then she gave me my breakfast in the stainless steel bowls again (she had seen me have a sneaky drink from one of them) and she kneeled down, looked me in the eye and told me she was not going to pander to me anymore.

Then she showed me the dog flap and how it works (she didn’t tape it up for me, Dad like you do) and then she left! What a cruel Mumma?!

When am I coming home to you Dad?

Jess x

Putting my eggs in just the one basket and hoping for the best

Last weekend, I was sat at home attempting to build flat pack furniture. I can highly recommend not doing this, and if you do have to, make sure you have a glass of wine to hand and can get up and walk away from the blasted thing as often as possible. For the first time in my life, I really missed having a man around to do this sort of thing for me. I’m pretty happy to be able to say that, as I have a lot of friends who jump from relationship to relationship and it’s almost like they’re not complete without a man in their life. I am very happy to say that is not who I am. I never have been.

When I’m single I am always open to the idea of a new relationship. I’ll even admit to sometimes, when it’s been a while, yearning for someone (at points I have prayed for anyone) to kiss me (and maybe do some other things too) but I have never felt that need to constanlty have someone in my life. It’s always just a ‘would be nice to have’.

Anyway, it’s been several months (well it had been before Friday night) since I had even been kissed. At New Year I hoped for the chance to put a wrong right when I received a random message from a friend of a friend, and as I was sat swearing at the flat pack, I received the message that I had been hoping for. Only now, since the Lieutenant is in my life, I didn’t want to receive that message. So here’s the situation.

The unobtainable man, whom I have known since 2007, moved back to Sydney in 2012. We met up, things got a little hot in the kitchen (literally, we were cooking dinner together when he first kissed me, it was very romantic), and then they progressed. After a perfect night together, we messaged each other daily and had plans to meet up again. Then, I did the stupid thing. I got drunk and I sent a message I shouldn’t have. I didn’t declare my undying love or anything like that, but it made him nervous. We continued to talk but we never met up again. So his message on Saturday was asking about meeting up again. Had this come two weeks ago I would have been ecstatic.

But, the Friday after my birthday, I met the Lieutenant. He is delicious and amazing but he has also very recently, been hurt by a betrayal. As much as we are not an item, I know if I were to meet up with the unobtainable man, it would crush him. And that is something I just cannot do.

Ultimately, I have played it very cool. I don’t know where things are going with the Lieutenant but I know that he is more important to me than testing the waters with the unobtainable man. And, that is, in itself, a pretty big thing to say. At the same time everyone I know is telling me to date them both. Neither has committed to me, so why commit to them? Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. But I’ve always been the gambling type, and right now, my money is well and truly on the Lieutenant.

From a bad day, to the best night

After an average day in the office, I arrived at the train station two minutes late for my train. This meant that I had to battle with my phone, which then died, to try and figure out how to get home. I don’t live that far from the city, but if I miss a direct train, it’s a long wait for another so, I have to get several connections.

With a dead phone in hand, I could feel an anger rising up inside me. An anger I don’t feel very often anymore but, at this time last year, I felt everyday. It’s an anger that happens when nothing is going right. When there is frustration and confusion. When no one is helping you.

I got home to find that the guy I was buying a washing machine off, and picking up that night, had accidentally double booked himself so I couldn’t get the washing machine. The anger raged.

Then, I got a message from him. The man I met on Friday night. The man who is too soon out of a relationship for anything to really happen between us. He had offered to help me with the washing machine so I told him there was no need. He wanted to see me anyway. So I drove to his place. I was in a foul mood and I told him that. But he still wanted to see me. I was actually a little concerned about how he would react to my mood. I know that I can be an absolute bitch when it comes to it. It was a sticking point in my last relationship. My ex couldn’t deal with me when I’d had a bad day. His answer was to get takeout (I hate takeout and prefer home cooked meals), lounge on the couch and not be concerned about the cleaning, washing or anything else that needed doing. And, as I sat there, I would think about all those jobs that we should be doing and the rage inside me would continue to burn.

When my man got into the car yesterday, I was so angry. But within five minutes, and with one very brief touch, the anger had passed. I was smiling. I was laughing. My day had turned around. We went back to mine, we delivered a dining table to a lady with an autistic child who was unable to pick up (I am selling things that don’t fit/go with my new place), he cooked me a lovely dinner and we cuddled on the couch. My feelings went from content, to happy, to scared and to sad (the negatives were purely based on the constant thought in the back of my mind that I cannot have this man…not yet). They flitted. But they never once went back to anger.

I find it hard to believe I have only known this man for six days. He is already a huge part of my life. His touch, to me, is electric, and I really hope, that he stays in my life for a very long time.

Today’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘electric’.

Adding a little bit of light into our lives

Adding a little bit of light into our lives

I haven’t felt like this for a while

As much as my resolution was to blog everyday, there were always going to be things that got in the way of that. A lack of internet and laptop were the cause of my lack of blogging this weekend.

Saturday was move day. Whilst packing things up and loading them into the car, I found a hard drive a friend had given me asking me to copy the contents from my flatmates hard drive (apparently there are 650 movies on there) and add it to her hard drive. Not being the most technologically able person in the world (I’m not bad, but not great either), I had avoided doing it…until Saturday when I realised it was now or never. So I hooked it all up (with the help of a friend) and then realised it was going to take 27 hours to transfer. Hence my laptop being hijacked for the weekend.

The move went well. I realise that I am not as motivated as I used to be. What happened to all that energy I used to have? I need to get it back as there is still so much to do! But the place does feel like home and that is something I haven’t had for a while.

On a more interesting note, Friday night was my joint birthday drinks with a beautiful friend. Another (equally beautiful) friend of ours, introduced me to her very hot, very gorgeous, recently single friend. Wow! It was like a dream come true. An absolutely delicious specimen of a man. Unfortunately for me, he has only just ended a very serious relationship and so it is not meant to be…for now at least. I agree massively that he needs time to get over his last girlfriend before he can truly give himself to someone else. I’m just still kind of hoping that someone might be me. I haven’t felt that comfortable with someone for a long time, so fingers are crossed.

Now, on to photos (I have some catching up to do). Saturday’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘delicious’ (pretty appropriate that I met a delicious man but, this beautiful flower was given to me by my favourite little man. A three and a half year old, who is just gorgeous (and when he comes running over to me with his arm outstretched holding out a flower for me, well how could I possibly want anything more?)).

A delivious flower from my delicious little man

A delivious flower from my delicious little man

Sunday’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘something you saw’. Well I saw my home. Not just my house, my actual home for the first time in a long time.

Finally it looks like home - a welcoming bubble bath after a hard day of moving

Finally it looks like home – a welcoming bubble bath after a hard day of moving

And today? Today’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘what you do’. So, what do I do? I keep trying, I keep going and I never give up.

This is my year!

This is my year!

There’s no place like home

What is an ordinary moment? Or even an ordinary day? My facebook newsfeed is currently full of people going on and on about ice and snow. They’re all in the UK. But me? I’m in Australia. An ordinary moment for me, is having a beer in the sun, or as I also did today, going for a walk, not realising the power of the sun and realising afterwards that I’m a tad pink.

There is no such thing as ordinary. Certainly for me, every day is different. Sometimes I wish for the mundane. The lives I hear my friends live. The life at home. Where the same thing happens every day. On the weekend, the same people go to the same pubs and have the same arguments over and over again. It’s like groundhog day. But I love it and I miss it. And that’s what makes it home. For now I’m happy with the uncertainty and the everchanging landscape that is my life. But to the people at home, I beg you, never change. If you do, it won’t be home anymore.

An ordinary moment is today’s #fmsphotoaday:

A beer in the sun

A beer in the sun