Putting my eggs in just the one basket and hoping for the best

Last weekend, I was sat at home attempting to build flat pack furniture. I can highly recommend not doing this, and if you do have to, make sure you have a glass of wine to hand and can get up and walk away from the blasted thing as often as possible. For the first time in my life, I really missed having a man around to do this sort of thing for me. I’m pretty happy to be able to say that, as I have a lot of friends who jump from relationship to relationship and it’s almost like they’re not complete without a man in their life. I am very happy to say that is not who I am. I never have been.

When I’m single I am always open to the idea of a new relationship. I’ll even admit to sometimes, when it’s been a while, yearning for someone (at points I have prayed for anyone) to kiss me (and maybe do some other things too) but I have never felt that need to constanlty have someone in my life. It’s always just a ‘would be nice to have’.

Anyway, it’s been several months (well it had been before Friday night) since I had even been kissed. At New Year I hoped for the chance to put a wrong right when I received a random message from a friend of a friend, and as I was sat swearing at the flat pack, I received the message that I had been hoping for. Only now, since the Lieutenant is in my life, I didn’t want to receive that message. So here’s the situation.

The unobtainable man, whom I have known since 2007, moved back to Sydney in 2012. We met up, things got a little hot in the kitchen (literally, we were cooking dinner together when he first kissed me, it was very romantic), and then they progressed. After a perfect night together, we messaged each other daily and had plans to meet up again. Then, I did the stupid thing. I got drunk and I sent a message I shouldn’t have. I didn’t declare my undying love or anything like that, but it made him nervous. We continued to talk but we never met up again. So his message on Saturday was asking about meeting up again. Had this come two weeks ago I would have been ecstatic.

But, the Friday after my birthday, I met the Lieutenant. He is delicious and amazing but he has also very recently, been hurt by a betrayal. As much as we are not an item, I know if I were to meet up with the unobtainable man, it would crush him. And that is something I just cannot do.

Ultimately, I have played it very cool. I don’t know where things are going with the Lieutenant but I know that he is more important to me than testing the waters with the unobtainable man. And, that is, in itself, a pretty big thing to say. At the same time everyone I know is telling me to date them both. Neither has committed to me, so why commit to them? Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. But I’ve always been the gambling type, and right now, my money is well and truly on the Lieutenant.

I haven’t felt like this for a while

As much as my resolution was to blog everyday, there were always going to be things that got in the way of that. A lack of internet and laptop were the cause of my lack of blogging this weekend.

Saturday was move day. Whilst packing things up and loading them into the car, I found a hard drive a friend had given me asking me to copy the contents from my flatmates hard drive (apparently there are 650 movies on there) and add it to her hard drive. Not being the most technologically able person in the world (I’m not bad, but not great either), I had avoided doing it…until Saturday when I realised it was now or never. So I hooked it all up (with the help of a friend) and then realised it was going to take 27 hours to transfer. Hence my laptop being hijacked for the weekend.

The move went well. I realise that I am not as motivated as I used to be. What happened to all that energy I used to have? I need to get it back as there is still so much to do! But the place does feel like home and that is something I haven’t had for a while.

On a more interesting note, Friday night was my joint birthday drinks with a beautiful friend. Another (equally beautiful) friend of ours, introduced me to her very hot, very gorgeous, recently single friend. Wow! It was like a dream come true. An absolutely delicious specimen of a man. Unfortunately for me, he has only just ended a very serious relationship and so it is not meant to be…for now at least. I agree massively that he needs time to get over his last girlfriend before he can truly give himself to someone else. I’m just still kind of hoping that someone might be me. I haven’t felt that comfortable with someone for a long time, so fingers are crossed.

Now, on to photos (I have some catching up to do). Saturday’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘delicious’ (pretty appropriate that I met a delicious man but, this beautiful flower was given to me by my favourite little man. A three and a half year old, who is just gorgeous (and when he comes running over to me with his arm outstretched holding out a flower for me, well how could I possibly want anything more?)).

A delivious flower from my delicious little man

A delivious flower from my delicious little man

Sunday’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘something you saw’. Well I saw my home. Not just my house, my actual home for the first time in a long time.

Finally it looks like home - a welcoming bubble bath after a hard day of moving

Finally it looks like home – a welcoming bubble bath after a hard day of moving

And today? Today’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘what you do’. So, what do I do? I keep trying, I keep going and I never give up.

This is my year!

This is my year!

Ready, set, go!

Am I ready? Ummm, no? Is that an appropriate answer? Well apparently when it comes to birthdays, it’s not. Whether you’re ready or not, they will still happen. So today is my birthday. I tell people I’m 25 (again). I never thought I would be one of those people who denied their age but, I am. So there! (And I normally laugh and within five minutes end up telling people how old I really am).

Last year was bad so I am pretty glad to be waving goodbye to it. So let’s, rethink that first question. Am I ready? Hell, yes! Bring it on!

I am always ready for cake.  Another birthday?  Ok, if you insist!

I am always ready for cake. Another birthday? Ok, if you insist!