It’s been a long time and so much has happened

What started out as a promise to blog everyday for 2013, hasn’t exactly turned out the way it should have. I find myself in April, with my last blog entry being back in January! How has this happened? How has time gotten away from me so quickly? And how, has it been so easy for me to break my own promise to myself?

The truth is simple. Lots has happened on the love, work, life, health front and blogging just fell to the wayside. I can’t guarantee that won’t happen again, but I can guarantee I feel bad that I haven’t been on here and I will try harder.

In a nutshell what’s been going on to keep me so busy? Well here it is (in the brief format, and I hope, over the next month or so, to go into it into more detail):

  1. The Lieutenant – it has been on and off, and then on and off.  We are now, since yesterday on an off, an off with no contact allowed.  As I talked about before, the Lieutenant wasn’t long out of a relationship when we met.  The aftershock (as I like to think of it) of that relationship is continuing even now.  Emails from the ex, reminders of the boy she cheated on him with, little things that you can’t run away from, keep happening.  And then, with me, he realised he was falling in love again.  And he consciously stopped himself because he didn’t want to get hurt.  As soon as he did it, he knew he had to let me go, until his heart was ready to love again.  It hurt.  But I believe he has done the right thing and I am prepared to let him go, in the hope that one day he will come back and he will be ready to love.  We tried being friends, but whenever we met, there was a clear sexual tension in the room.  The night would end with kissing and then tears.  It is best to stay apart until his heart has healed.
  2. Health – you may recall I had a scare at the end of 2012.  It was the thing that topped off the so called ‘worst year of my life’.  I had an abnormal pap smear test.  Then in January I went to the colposcopy clinic and was told that it didn’t look like anything.  The results came back, and it is something.  I am booked in for a large loop excision of the transformation zone (LLETZ) next month.  It’s a scary prospect and the more goggling I do the more scary it gets.  We all know that if you look anything up on the internet, it always point to death.  I am staying positive, and will blog about this to give my perspective for anyone going through the same thing.
  3. Work – I slog my guts out for very little reward.  This coming week will see what reward I get.
  4. Life – my life is getting more and more simple and that is the way I like it.  My puppy and I have spent this Easter chilling out and enjoying each other’s company.  Which is exactly what we were doing today, when this picture was taken:
Too tired to play

Too tired to play

After a long walk around Sydney Park, Jess was tired.  Too tired to play.  And today’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘play’.  A great pic and a great memory to kick start this blog again!

 

 

Oops, I did it again

I’ve not been very good at this blogging malarky lately, have I? Since I moved into my new place, a home of my own, where I thought I would actually get more time to sit down and type, I’ve barely blogged a thing. I can only apologise and let you know that I haven’t given up or forgotten about you, or about my personal challenege for 2013.

I think maybe expecting to blog every day was a little much. But, then again I view this in the same way I view going to the gym. I aim to go at least four times a week. It is a rare occasion I make it to four, but with this goal in mind, I generally make it to three which is pretty satisfactory. If my goal were three times a week, I’d probably only make it twice and then wouldn’t push myself for the third session. So, you see, it’s all relative. Not that I’ve actually been to the gym since moving house either, but I can promise I’ve been doing a lot of sweating and lifting whilst getting things sorted (and that kind of makes up for things).

So, what else has happened since we last ‘spoke’? The house is really starting to shape up and I am really happy with it. I’m waiting for a few more things to arrive (hurry up Australia Post) before I can have the gorgeous Jess move in with me (she is currently with her dead beat human Dad) but her first visit to her new home will take place on Sunday. Jess, being a fourteen and a half year old border collie, is a pretty sensitive soul. She doesn’t like change and as much as I know she will love the new place, and will love being back with her (human) Mumma again, throwing her in at the deep end will not be good for her. So, we’ve agreed to do a few visits beforehand so she gets used to the place before she is with me full time. Preparation seems to be taking forever but it will all be worth it in the end.

My Friday night man (I think maybe I need to come up with a new name for him as it currently sounds like I only see him on Friday nights which is totally not true, so from here on in, he shall be ‘the Lieutenant – yep, you guessed right, he’s a military man) has been an angel. We spent all of yesterday together and I thoroughly enjoyed his company. Just thinking about him makes me smile. We’re taking it one day at a time and as much as we had said we needed to cool things off whilst he grieved for his last relationship, we realised we’re just not very good at that. I guess that electricity is still flowing between us.

On a more serious note, today was a day I had been dreading. In November last year I went for a Pap smear test. I’ve been having them since I was 18 and have always been fine, so I wasn’t even the slightest bit concerned. Well, not until I received a voicemail from the doctor’s surgery asking me to come back in to talk about the results. It turned out they had found some ‘possible’ abnormal cells and I needed to see a specialist. It seemed to top off what had been a very bad year. I recall when I was made redundant actually saying (and being told not to jinx things) that “the only things left to go wrong, would be for me to have a major health scare”. Then, it was like “hello, major health scare, thanks for joining the party”.

But that was last year. This year is going to be a good year. I am pleased to report that the specialist took some swabs for further tests but couldn’t see much else. It looks like (and my fingers are well and truly crossed) everything is going to be alright. Yay for 2013! Yay for good news!

I know I have a lot of #fmsphotoaday posts to catch up on, and I promise I will. Seriously, I promise!!