For five minutes

Yesterday I gave up hope…for five minutes. I put my head in my hands, I swallowed back the tears and I thought about just not trying anymore. I thought about just giving up, not trying anymore, and that feeling was nice…for five minutes. It felt like, despite all the positive energy I have been trying to put out into the world, someone, somewhere is trying really hard to knock me down. The problem is they are succeeding….for five minutes. So what’s happened:

1. I was turned down for my first property application of 2013
2. I lost a receipt which is worth $100
3. My brand new Pandora watch which my parents had bought me for my 30th birthday just stopped working
4. I found out that in order to be fast-tracked for permanent residency in Australia I have to be the most senior position in my field in my company. Being second in command gets you nothing, meaning I have to wait two years before I can get any security in Australia.
5. I booked a weekend away and then found out that I am have to work that weekend which means I just threw away $500
6. I was turned down for my second property application of 2013 (which was beautiful and which someone else will now get to call home)

Seriously? All in one week? I know it can get worse but I am not sure I can take much more. And then I took five minutes, and I counted up the good things that have happened:

1. I have kept to my new year’s resolution (so far) and have blogged everyday
2. I have a beautiful puppy whose health is getting better everyday
3. I have a home, a job, money in the bank and family and friends all over the world
4. I have begun building bridges with my evil ex (who may not be so evil after all)
5. Everywhere I look there are people who love and care about me
6. There is a boy…(more about that another time)

Writing and reading the good things has made me well up more than the bad things did and it makes me realise that I do have to keep trying.

Today’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘something beginning with “t”. Now I struggled with this for a while. Trees, tip-ex (or ‘white out’ as Australians call it), toilet(!), tissue, t, t, t,….what on earth began with ‘t’ that I could relate this blog to? Then, as I was sat on the bus on my way to work, it struck me, ‘traffic light’. I hope the metaphorical traffic lights in your life, are always green, just like this literal one!

Here's hoping the methaphorical traffic lights in our lives are always green

Here’s hoping the methaphorical traffic lights in our lives are always green

This is my year, I will not give up. I will keep trying until every traffic light is always green (and so should you).

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Lots of eggs, lots of baskets

So, here it is. Today will either be filled with disappointment or gleeful smiles and jumping around the room. Let’s hope for the latter.

I have two property applications in. There were lots of people at both viewings (which took place on the weekend) but I am still hopeful that the real estate agent and landlord, look at my application and see something special and offer me the place.

As we all know, it would be silly to put all my eggs in one basket (which is why there are two applications in) but also, I have started to push the door open on another opportunity. An opportunity to return home.

I am not originally from Australia and I arrived here originally in December 2007, then left in January 2009, only to return in July 2011. When I came back, I thought this was it. I was engaged, I had the puppy I had yearned for my whole life with me and I had secured the best job in the world. What could go wrong? In truth, everything. 2012 saw me lose it all (including custody of my beautiful puppy who I still have access to but without a good property I cannot have full time).

Losing my job (which was all down to a very bitter and messed up reverse takeover between two accountancy firms) has meant that I have ended up in another job (great news) that I don’t like half as much as my last job (not so great news). It also means that I have to wait another two years before I can get permanent residency (“PR”) in Australia and therefore any security in my position here (without PR, if I lose my job, I have 28 days to find another one or get out of the country). But, let’s not dwell.

This has made me rethink my plans to stay. Can I cope two years with no security? I don’t think so. Could life be better at home? Maybe.

With this in mind, I have activated recruitment consultants in Bristol, England and Cardiff, Wales as well as looking into costs and process to take Jess back with me.

Our #fmsphotoaday photo today is ‘street’. Pretty approriate considering this property related post!

Where will the road take me in 2013?

Where will the road take me in 2013?

This year, my year, both the ‘stay in Australian door’ and the ‘return home door’ are being knocked on. I wonder which will open?

Today I read, and wanted to share, someone else’s blog entry which I absolutely adored. Another one about new year’s resolutions which made me smile and feel all positive again. So here it is Sarah’s blog and here’s Neil Gaiman’s picture (from his Twitter account) which I absolutely adore:

Love, love, love this!  Let's try and live by it!

Love, love, love this! Let’s try and live by it!