Putting my eggs in just the one basket and hoping for the best

Last weekend, I was sat at home attempting to build flat pack furniture. I can highly recommend not doing this, and if you do have to, make sure you have a glass of wine to hand and can get up and walk away from the blasted thing as often as possible. For the first time in my life, I really missed having a man around to do this sort of thing for me. I’m pretty happy to be able to say that, as I have a lot of friends who jump from relationship to relationship and it’s almost like they’re not complete without a man in their life. I am very happy to say that is not who I am. I never have been.

When I’m single I am always open to the idea of a new relationship. I’ll even admit to sometimes, when it’s been a while, yearning for someone (at points I have prayed for anyone) to kiss me (and maybe do some other things too) but I have never felt that need to constanlty have someone in my life. It’s always just a ‘would be nice to have’.

Anyway, it’s been several months (well it had been before Friday night) since I had even been kissed. At New Year I hoped for the chance to put a wrong right when I received a random message from a friend of a friend, and as I was sat swearing at the flat pack, I received the message that I had been hoping for. Only now, since the Lieutenant is in my life, I didn’t want to receive that message. So here’s the situation.

The unobtainable man, whom I have known since 2007, moved back to Sydney in 2012. We met up, things got a little hot in the kitchen (literally, we were cooking dinner together when he first kissed me, it was very romantic), and then they progressed. After a perfect night together, we messaged each other daily and had plans to meet up again. Then, I did the stupid thing. I got drunk and I sent a message I shouldn’t have. I didn’t declare my undying love or anything like that, but it made him nervous. We continued to talk but we never met up again. So his message on Saturday was asking about meeting up again. Had this come two weeks ago I would have been ecstatic.

But, the Friday after my birthday, I met the Lieutenant. He is delicious and amazing but he has also very recently, been hurt by a betrayal. As much as we are not an item, I know if I were to meet up with the unobtainable man, it would crush him. And that is something I just cannot do.

Ultimately, I have played it very cool. I don’t know where things are going with the Lieutenant but I know that he is more important to me than testing the waters with the unobtainable man. And, that is, in itself, a pretty big thing to say. At the same time everyone I know is telling me to date them both. Neither has committed to me, so why commit to them? Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. But I’ve always been the gambling type, and right now, my money is well and truly on the Lieutenant.

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