It’s been a long time and so much has happened

What started out as a promise to blog everyday for 2013, hasn’t exactly turned out the way it should have. I find myself in April, with my last blog entry being back in January! How has this happened? How has time gotten away from me so quickly? And how, has it been so easy for me to break my own promise to myself?

The truth is simple. Lots has happened on the love, work, life, health front and blogging just fell to the wayside. I can’t guarantee that won’t happen again, but I can guarantee I feel bad that I haven’t been on here and I will try harder.

In a nutshell what’s been going on to keep me so busy? Well here it is (in the brief format, and I hope, over the next month or so, to go into it into more detail):

  1. The Lieutenant – it has been on and off, and then on and off.  We are now, since yesterday on an off, an off with no contact allowed.  As I talked about before, the Lieutenant wasn’t long out of a relationship when we met.  The aftershock (as I like to think of it) of that relationship is continuing even now.  Emails from the ex, reminders of the boy she cheated on him with, little things that you can’t run away from, keep happening.  And then, with me, he realised he was falling in love again.  And he consciously stopped himself because he didn’t want to get hurt.  As soon as he did it, he knew he had to let me go, until his heart was ready to love again.  It hurt.  But I believe he has done the right thing and I am prepared to let him go, in the hope that one day he will come back and he will be ready to love.  We tried being friends, but whenever we met, there was a clear sexual tension in the room.  The night would end with kissing and then tears.  It is best to stay apart until his heart has healed.
  2. Health – you may recall I had a scare at the end of 2012.  It was the thing that topped off the so called ‘worst year of my life’.  I had an abnormal pap smear test.  Then in January I went to the colposcopy clinic and was told that it didn’t look like anything.  The results came back, and it is something.  I am booked in for a large loop excision of the transformation zone (LLETZ) next month.  It’s a scary prospect and the more goggling I do the more scary it gets.  We all know that if you look anything up on the internet, it always point to death.  I am staying positive, and will blog about this to give my perspective for anyone going through the same thing.
  3. Work – I slog my guts out for very little reward.  This coming week will see what reward I get.
  4. Life – my life is getting more and more simple and that is the way I like it.  My puppy and I have spent this Easter chilling out and enjoying each other’s company.  Which is exactly what we were doing today, when this picture was taken:
Too tired to play

Too tired to play

After a long walk around Sydney Park, Jess was tired.  Too tired to play.  And today’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘play’.  A great pic and a great memory to kick start this blog again!

 

 

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There’s no place like home

What is an ordinary moment? Or even an ordinary day? My facebook newsfeed is currently full of people going on and on about ice and snow. They’re all in the UK. But me? I’m in Australia. An ordinary moment for me, is having a beer in the sun, or as I also did today, going for a walk, not realising the power of the sun and realising afterwards that I’m a tad pink.

There is no such thing as ordinary. Certainly for me, every day is different. Sometimes I wish for the mundane. The lives I hear my friends live. The life at home. Where the same thing happens every day. On the weekend, the same people go to the same pubs and have the same arguments over and over again. It’s like groundhog day. But I love it and I miss it. And that’s what makes it home. For now I’m happy with the uncertainty and the everchanging landscape that is my life. But to the people at home, I beg you, never change. If you do, it won’t be home anymore.

An ordinary moment is today’s #fmsphotoaday:

A beer in the sun

A beer in the sun