Oops, I did it again

I’ve not been very good at this blogging malarky lately, have I? Since I moved into my new place, a home of my own, where I thought I would actually get more time to sit down and type, I’ve barely blogged a thing. I can only apologise and let you know that I haven’t given up or forgotten about you, or about my personal challenege for 2013.

I think maybe expecting to blog every day was a little much. But, then again I view this in the same way I view going to the gym. I aim to go at least four times a week. It is a rare occasion I make it to four, but with this goal in mind, I generally make it to three which is pretty satisfactory. If my goal were three times a week, I’d probably only make it twice and then wouldn’t push myself for the third session. So, you see, it’s all relative. Not that I’ve actually been to the gym since moving house either, but I can promise I’ve been doing a lot of sweating and lifting whilst getting things sorted (and that kind of makes up for things).

So, what else has happened since we last ‘spoke’? The house is really starting to shape up and I am really happy with it. I’m waiting for a few more things to arrive (hurry up Australia Post) before I can have the gorgeous Jess move in with me (she is currently with her dead beat human Dad) but her first visit to her new home will take place on Sunday. Jess, being a fourteen and a half year old border collie, is a pretty sensitive soul. She doesn’t like change and as much as I know she will love the new place, and will love being back with her (human) Mumma again, throwing her in at the deep end will not be good for her. So, we’ve agreed to do a few visits beforehand so she gets used to the place before she is with me full time. Preparation seems to be taking forever but it will all be worth it in the end.

My Friday night man (I think maybe I need to come up with a new name for him as it currently sounds like I only see him on Friday nights which is totally not true, so from here on in, he shall be ‘the Lieutenant – yep, you guessed right, he’s a military man) has been an angel. We spent all of yesterday together and I thoroughly enjoyed his company. Just thinking about him makes me smile. We’re taking it one day at a time and as much as we had said we needed to cool things off whilst he grieved for his last relationship, we realised we’re just not very good at that. I guess that electricity is still flowing between us.

On a more serious note, today was a day I had been dreading. In November last year I went for a Pap smear test. I’ve been having them since I was 18 and have always been fine, so I wasn’t even the slightest bit concerned. Well, not until I received a voicemail from the doctor’s surgery asking me to come back in to talk about the results. It turned out they had found some ‘possible’ abnormal cells and I needed to see a specialist. It seemed to top off what had been a very bad year. I recall when I was made redundant actually saying (and being told not to jinx things) that “the only things left to go wrong, would be for me to have a major health scare”. Then, it was like “hello, major health scare, thanks for joining the party”.

But that was last year. This year is going to be a good year. I am pleased to report that the specialist took some swabs for further tests but couldn’t see much else. It looks like (and my fingers are well and truly crossed) everything is going to be alright. Yay for 2013! Yay for good news!

I know I have a lot of #fmsphotoaday posts to catch up on, and I promise I will. Seriously, I promise!!

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Two things

I struggled all day with today’s #fmsphotoaday; “two things”. What on earth could I relate a blog post around which encompassed two things? And then, as I was signing the contract on my new place, I saw my two keys. The keys to my new house which will be filled with love and happiness.

The keys to my new house

The keys to my new house

Don’t stop believing

It has been a weekend of ying and yang (again, that post is really coming back to haunt me).

On Saturday morning I woke up to find out I had a place for me and the pup to live. Yay!!

Then I heard about a friend who had been stood up by a horrible boy. He had actually text her to tell her he was half an hour away and was looking forward to the night and then never showed up. Nothing bad happened to him. He just didn’t bother. Whether he thinks it’s funny to leave a beautiful lady, who is all dressed up and ready to go out, waiting, I don’t know. What I do know is I shed a few tears for her at the same time as calling him some names which I could not possibly put in writing. Boo!

Then I found out a good friend is pregnant with her second child. Yay!!

And then, finally to top the weekend off. The boy (the one I had counted as a good point when I was weighing up the good and the bad of my life) left my life. Boo!

There have been tears of happiness and tears of joy. And i guess that is the circle of life. I am hoping for a lot more tears of happiness this year with my friends and family, so tonight I lit a candle and sent up a little prayer for more good and less bad (after all, this is my year).

The candle is round and today’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘circle’, That’ll do.

I lit this candle thinking of all those I love and care about.  Here's to a good 2013.

I lit this candle thinking of all those I love and care about. Here’s to a good 2013.

For five minutes

Yesterday I gave up hope…for five minutes. I put my head in my hands, I swallowed back the tears and I thought about just not trying anymore. I thought about just giving up, not trying anymore, and that feeling was nice…for five minutes. It felt like, despite all the positive energy I have been trying to put out into the world, someone, somewhere is trying really hard to knock me down. The problem is they are succeeding….for five minutes. So what’s happened:

1. I was turned down for my first property application of 2013
2. I lost a receipt which is worth $100
3. My brand new Pandora watch which my parents had bought me for my 30th birthday just stopped working
4. I found out that in order to be fast-tracked for permanent residency in Australia I have to be the most senior position in my field in my company. Being second in command gets you nothing, meaning I have to wait two years before I can get any security in Australia.
5. I booked a weekend away and then found out that I am have to work that weekend which means I just threw away $500
6. I was turned down for my second property application of 2013 (which was beautiful and which someone else will now get to call home)

Seriously? All in one week? I know it can get worse but I am not sure I can take much more. And then I took five minutes, and I counted up the good things that have happened:

1. I have kept to my new year’s resolution (so far) and have blogged everyday
2. I have a beautiful puppy whose health is getting better everyday
3. I have a home, a job, money in the bank and family and friends all over the world
4. I have begun building bridges with my evil ex (who may not be so evil after all)
5. Everywhere I look there are people who love and care about me
6. There is a boy…(more about that another time)

Writing and reading the good things has made me well up more than the bad things did and it makes me realise that I do have to keep trying.

Today’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘something beginning with “t”. Now I struggled with this for a while. Trees, tip-ex (or ‘white out’ as Australians call it), toilet(!), tissue, t, t, t,….what on earth began with ‘t’ that I could relate this blog to? Then, as I was sat on the bus on my way to work, it struck me, ‘traffic light’. I hope the metaphorical traffic lights in your life, are always green, just like this literal one!

Here's hoping the methaphorical traffic lights in our lives are always green

Here’s hoping the methaphorical traffic lights in our lives are always green

This is my year, I will not give up. I will keep trying until every traffic light is always green (and so should you).