It’s been a long time and so much has happened

What started out as a promise to blog everyday for 2013, hasn’t exactly turned out the way it should have. I find myself in April, with my last blog entry being back in January! How has this happened? How has time gotten away from me so quickly? And how, has it been so easy for me to break my own promise to myself?

The truth is simple. Lots has happened on the love, work, life, health front and blogging just fell to the wayside. I can’t guarantee that won’t happen again, but I can guarantee I feel bad that I haven’t been on here and I will try harder.

In a nutshell what’s been going on to keep me so busy? Well here it is (in the brief format, and I hope, over the next month or so, to go into it into more detail):

  1. The Lieutenant – it has been on and off, and then on and off.  We are now, since yesterday on an off, an off with no contact allowed.  As I talked about before, the Lieutenant wasn’t long out of a relationship when we met.  The aftershock (as I like to think of it) of that relationship is continuing even now.  Emails from the ex, reminders of the boy she cheated on him with, little things that you can’t run away from, keep happening.  And then, with me, he realised he was falling in love again.  And he consciously stopped himself because he didn’t want to get hurt.  As soon as he did it, he knew he had to let me go, until his heart was ready to love again.  It hurt.  But I believe he has done the right thing and I am prepared to let him go, in the hope that one day he will come back and he will be ready to love.  We tried being friends, but whenever we met, there was a clear sexual tension in the room.  The night would end with kissing and then tears.  It is best to stay apart until his heart has healed.
  2. Health – you may recall I had a scare at the end of 2012.  It was the thing that topped off the so called ‘worst year of my life’.  I had an abnormal pap smear test.  Then in January I went to the colposcopy clinic and was told that it didn’t look like anything.  The results came back, and it is something.  I am booked in for a large loop excision of the transformation zone (LLETZ) next month.  It’s a scary prospect and the more goggling I do the more scary it gets.  We all know that if you look anything up on the internet, it always point to death.  I am staying positive, and will blog about this to give my perspective for anyone going through the same thing.
  3. Work – I slog my guts out for very little reward.  This coming week will see what reward I get.
  4. Life – my life is getting more and more simple and that is the way I like it.  My puppy and I have spent this Easter chilling out and enjoying each other’s company.  Which is exactly what we were doing today, when this picture was taken:
Too tired to play

Too tired to play

After a long walk around Sydney Park, Jess was tired.  Too tired to play.  And today’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘play’.  A great pic and a great memory to kick start this blog again!




Let’s go crazy, crazy, crazy…

Work isn’t a happy place at the moment. This is a new job for me (I started in October) and the team I have joined are a little dysfunctional. I came onboard because someone new had been put in charge of the business development and marketing team, and he needed some extra people. I was told from the outset that there was unhappiness within the team but, it’s not like anything I’ve ever experienced before. There is tension, anger and a horrible atmosphere. I can’t say anymore that coming to work is a joy (which I used to this time last year when I worked for the best firm in the world, with the best people in the world).

Today’s #fmsphotoaday is ‘something yellow’. I looked around my office for inspiration and I saw the yellow post-it notes (or sticky notes as the Aussies would call them). I burst out laughing. This is something that doesn’t normally happen in this office and it may have broken that horrible atmosphere for just a second (whilst everyone is wondering if I’m crazy). It reminded me of a time in London, I was working for an American law firm and my manager and I were on a teleconference. The most boring teleconference in all the world. We were imitating sleeping to each other and doodling, and then, out of nowhere, we started sticking post-it notes all over our faces! Yes, had anyone walked in, they would have carted us straight off to the mental hospital. But we laughed, and laughed and laughed. And that call became easier, easier and easier the more we laughed (of course we had muted our end of the conversation).

It’s not that I’m advoating silliness in the workplace but, sometimes you need a little bit of light hearted ridiculous fun when the presssure is on and when things aren’t very nice. And if something can make you do a good old belly laugh, then it’s worth it.

I relived that moment today and stuck post-its on my face. No one here noticed…

Post it notes on my face.  I'm a little bit crazy!

Post it notes on my face. I’m a little bit crazy!

…then I got an email from a Partner from the best firm in the world, telling me it was his first day back after the Christmas break and he could see a giant yellow duck on Sydney Harbour. I told him I could see the same on a big screen at Martin Place. His response was simply “Are you sure we’re not just sharing the same apparition?”. My answer, “We could be. They might cart us both off to the mental hospital but, at least we’ll have each other!”

Giant yellow duck on Sydney Harbour.  Maybe I have really gone crazy?

Giant yellow duck on Sydney Harbour. Maybe I have really gone crazy?

So that’s two yellow things and one slightly mental blogger seen today!